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My 10-year-old son has just started to grow up. There was a time when I just picked his clothes or gave him a lot of things from my cousin, but he is very interested in fashion and it is so cool now. Apart from being together, we had a great time. Nowadays, you are not allowed to use the dressing room. When I tell him what size clothes to buy, he won’t believe me! He is a scrawny guy, I want to be the youngest guy, and he gets frustrated when I tell him someone who is bigger than the one he tried to pick. He wants the smallest clothes… But he is only 10 years old now, and the smallest children’s clothes are not suitable. When we got home, he put on the size I chose, it suits me, but every time I was a bad guy and refused the small size, it would still become a deadlock in the store. If the size you are wearing is too small and too small, why is the size different in the store? What can I say to resolve this disagreement without hurting him? Why does he insist on wearing small clothes so desperately?
Have you considered buying more clothes online? Given that your son will not be able to try on clothes in the locker room in 2020, it seems that you can avoid exposure and public stalemate, even if it means you will miss some interesting clothes shopping. The hassle-free return policy of many online stores usually means that you only need to buy two of each pair of pants, one in the small size, and then return the pair of pants at the time of purchase. This problem can be easily solved . Reluctantly admit that the media is more appropriate. (Another solution: just order the media and cut out the label before he sees it.)
I admit that a 10-year-old boy is more emotionally attached than his younger peers. I don’t think you need to quickly diagnose your child with any eating or physical deformity disorders, but I will pay close attention to how he feels and talk about his body at the onset of puberty, and whether he continues to express dissatisfaction with his body and self The difference between perceptions is worth discussing with the therapist.
However, just because of his stubborn opinion, several generations of parents have solved the child’s size problem with four magic words: “You will grow up.” Every time this problem arises, I suggest you deploy them.
Considering everything that happens in the world, this is not the most concerned issue, but we are working hard to consider the space factor with the new baby. My husband and I are looking forward to our second child in March. We have a 2-year-old son, who will become two and a half when the new baby arrives. Our house has two bedrooms on the second floor, and a finished loft will eventually become one of the children’s rooms. The children’s bathroom is located on the second floor, next to my son’s room. Now, our son is in the room next to us. About six months after birth, the new baby will be in our room, but then what do you think is the best answer? Our son will do potty training when the baby leaves our room, if we move him to the attic room, he will need to drive the steep stairs to go to the toilet at night. On the other hand, if we put the new baby in the attic, we will feed upside down. Will we put the baby in the attic until my son grows up and fully receives potty training? I worry about dramatic changes when the room gets bigger, but I want my oldest child to have an attic room for a long time. In the long run, what do you think is the best solution?
Oh, it’s very simple. Put the baby in the attic. You will be grateful for the little extra distance, and your son will be happy that there will be no more drastic changes in his life that is about to change. The conversion within a few years will be easy, because the baby will get the elder brother’s toddler bed and the elder brother’s room, while the elder brother will have his own space upstairs, which will be renovated carefully to reflect his interests , And equipped him with a large and beautiful single bed.
About a year ago, my husband’s family provided us with a fancy little game as a gift for young children. I hope they spent a lot of money. We were worried about cultural encroachment and decided to store it after several discussions. We do actively talk about racism with children, they are too young to understand why we are uncomfortable with gifts. My mother always tells me that when you give someone a gift, it is their will and asks rudely. However, my state grandmother does not seem to share this value. For the past year, she has been asking my husband why it is not in any photos we send. My husband used to raise this issue by saying that we did not have enough space, which may or may not be the best solution.
However, we have moved and now there is room-she is now struggling to fight for why we haven’t set it up yet. My mother-in-law may be shocked by her racism, although I believe that we all hold racist beliefs and must work hard to overcome these beliefs. I have heard her generalization of me, although there is no clear explanation. At that time, I explicitly encouraged her to consider what she said, which seemed to puzzle her a bit. But I think the situation is slightly different. She gave us gifts that she thought were lovely. Can you think of a way to solve this problem while keeping our relationship with her intact?
Of course, you absolutely have the right to tell your mother that you are not satisfied with the gift she gave your child. Ideally, you should be comfortable enough with each other so that the conversation between both parties can be simple and error-free. You might say, “You know, I have read some books, and we just don’t want to put a note paper in the house because it eliminates the meaning of marginalized non-white cultural touchstones.” You might quote an indigenous writer The article explains how much harm this cultural violation can cause even in seemingly harmless fields such as children’s toys.
In fact, you could have had a conversation with your mother-in-law when they gave you a gift a year ago. I hope you have! That would be much easier. Now, you have spent a year deflecting her request for gifts for her lovely grandchildren to play with. In my opinion, these requests are completely reasonable if they are not your mother’s request. Which grandma doesn’t want to see those photos? Your husband is caught in a lie between a mother who is emotionally hurt and a wife who doesn’t seem to like his mother because there is not enough space for tips, and now you live in a bigger place, and the lie has been exposed .
I encourage you to tell your mother-in-law the truth about Tippi clearly and kindly. A friendly way is to talk to her and determine the journey you will definitely go through at some point, from thinking that toys like Tippi toys are harmless to realizing that it’s a bad idea, not like every enlightened person has Just as understand this concept to her. Unless there are no obvious examples of intolerance and misbehavior in your letter, your mother-in-law looks like a perfect sweet, completely normal elderly person, although it may not be as good as your own mother, but should not be accepted Teeth treatment. Your letter implies that you want to give it to her.
How do you deal with your feelings of constant disappointment, scolding, or other negative experiences with your child? My husband and I work full-time at home and have no help in taking care of the children, so our 6-year-old can only entertain for a few hours at a time. This newly developed feature is a huge improvement in the first few months of my stay at home, when I was trying to demand my attention with her pending elbow. She didn’t fully defend herself-I peeked at her every 20 minutes or so (or more often if she stayed quiet), and we had a fixed time of 1:1 throughout the day. She talks to herself, plays with toys, draws pictures, cuts paper into a million pieces, and uses countless rolls of tape. It’s amazing. But she also did a lot of things she shouldn’t do: paint on the walls, apply various glues (glue, toothpaste, hand sanitizer, shampoo, even a bottle of sunscreen) on all touchable surfaces, cut Own hair, trim her clothes, leave tears from plants, etc.
I see, she is boring. I try to let go of these little things, let her help clean up the mess, and correct her only when she does something really wasteful or dangerous. I tried to make my expectations clearer and provided her with approved channels for confusion, experimentation and even destruction. Believe me, I realize that this sounds unsatisfactory-emerging modern artists/anarchists/agents of chaos do not want an approved chaos exit. In the final analysis, it feels like the relationship between us has been constant, like, no, don’t do that, don’t clean up now, please don’t destroy, don’t do that. In turn, she kept looking at me, as if I was destroying all her opportunities for happiness in the world. I feel despicable, like a stick in the mud, and I’m tired of it. help me!
This year has been a difficult year for everyone, but it has been a particularly terrible year for parents of young children. My kids are so old that the prank they themselves encounter in the room is to “flame on Reddit” instead of “cover the wall of sunscreen”-this is still troublesome, but less confused.
I think your 6-year-old child may be so dismissive of “Man” that she will reject any “approved messy way out”, but I think you might have a prediction. Most 6-year-old children will not be in a mess because they are Antifa. As you said, they are confusing because they are boring. And it is entirely possible to merge some authorized times and places so that chaos becomes their lives without closing them. You might consider placing a designated slime table in her room with raised edges, or painting her walls with chalkboard paint, or covering the bathroom floor with a towel and announcing daily Play in the water at 2 pm.
When your parents feel frustrated like you, all your interactions are corrective. But I want to remind you that this is not the case, of course, those who are stuck in your heart, but I am sure to make sure that the one-on-one time of the day is not just cursing. You are offering a lot of love and support to the budding abstract expressionist, which will surely be reflected in her Oscar-nominated biopic.
One last thing: You mentioned that you and your husband both worked from home, but then he disappeared from your remaining letters. I’m sure he will pop his head every 20 minutes to prevent her from covering the cat with shoe polish, right? If not, please remind him that it is unfair to be the only person who condemns Little Jackson for covering the duvet with ketchup, just as you shouldn’t be the only person thinking about how to spend your daughter’s life as happy as possible.
In Slate’s parenting podcast “Mom and Dad are fighting,” football legend Abby Wambach recently answered a question from the parents of a 4-year-old child who was “abnormally athletic”. Strong enthusiasm for sports.
“I think when children leave the football field, we share three things with them. First: I like to watch you play. Period. Second: How do you feel? How do you feel there? Third: What you learned today What you didn’t know before? That’s it. After the football game, you just need to tell your children this, because there are other things. You are telling them indirectly that your love depends on whether they are good or bad. Chaos on the court. The whole process of sports is making mistakes, getting along, making mistakes and getting along.”
To get Wambach’s complete answer, listen to the latest episodes and subscribe to “Mom and Dad Are Fighting” wherever you listen to the podcast.
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